April 29, 2012
I sure do suck at writing my blog this year.  How's that for honesty?  Although I can't promise I will ever be consistent at writing my blog, I can tell you things are really starting to move in the right direction.

I am now officially co-captain of the 3-Day Warming Hut Hotties team.  With this comes additional responsibilities, but also opportunities.  I have always been one that prefers to be in the background, but now I will be forced to move out of my comfort zone.  It may not be what I want, but it may be what I need. 

The first order of business was simply getting as many of us together as possible.  I did that with a 6-mile training walk in Half Moon Bay on April 14th.  We followed our walk up with lunch and an informal meeting.  With the Hotties so divided, it was (and still is, frankly, with people still on the roster that have already stated they were not going to walk...wish they would withdraw and just get off the team page already!!!) hard to see who was still participating in the 3-Day.  Oh, we sure as heck knew who WASN'T...especially on Facebook.  It's always a slap in the face, and you start to feel like the enemy.  When it seems everyone is against your choice, it is really hard to say out loud, "I'm still walking the 3-Day."  For these reasons, our walk & meeting was just what the doctor ordered.  We felt we could speak freely about everything without disparaging glances or mass negative Facebook posts.  It awakened our souls and lit that fire we needed to move forward. 

I also needed that spark lit.  The stakes are higher for me as a team captain.  No matter how or what I'm feeling, it's important for me to be positive for the team.  And I'm doing my very best, as I try and develop a solid training plan for us, and other team related items.  Somehow I know it will all work out and that this is will be our BEST 3-Day exerience yet!!!  I believe that because there was simply too much pain in the beginning and things can only improve!!!

On a personal note, I finally got my first newsletter done!!!  Find it here on the Newsletters page.  I am beginning to find my groove when it comes to training.  I got three walks in this week for a total of 19.7 miles (longest walk 10.1 miles).  My total official training miles so far are 42.3 miles.  Certainly not where I would ususally be, but I'm making positive progress!!!  I'm still working on my training schedule, so if you look on my training page it's still not complete.  Hey, I'm doing my best!!  I mean, I *do* have a day job, too!  :)  

My fundraising is going good, too.  I received two company matching gifts this week for a total of $240!!!  Yeah!!!  If your company matches, PLEASE consider applying for a matching gift!!  It's like free money and can double the amount you contribute.  For example, if you donate $100, your employer may also contribute $100!!  Learn all about Matching Gifts here:     http://www.the3day.org/site/PageServer?pagename=donat_match 

I have now raised over $4,500 for this year!!  I still have a long way to go to hit the $10,000 mark, but I also have four full months to get it done.  I am remaining optimistic and if I can get my butt in gear, will try a few different things as well.  If you have any ideas, please direct them my way and I'll see if it's something that interests me.

Well, I think that's about it for today.  Don't forget to donate!!  ;)

March 25, 2012
As time passes, so too does my resentment at everything that has transpired these past almost two months.  I have come to accept that things will be different, but different doesn't mean it has to be bad.  Just different, and an opportunity for those of us continuing our journey with the 3-Day to make it what we want it to be.  This is kind of exciting.  In order to move on, and get on with the task before me, I've had to re-dedicate myself to all things 3-Day - the spirit, the community and the passion. 

How have I accomplished this? One step at a time, for sure!!  

 1. Joined a Facebook group called, "You know you are a Susan G. Komen 3-Day walker when..."   - I actually joined this group in early February and it has been a God-send for me. A safe place full of 3-Day kindness, love and spirit!

2.  I'm an official 3-Day Training Walk Leader (TWL)!!!   - OK, so this might not really be that big of a deal when you consider that I have been a TWL the past two or three years, but never actually posted a walk.  Now, I did lead 5-6 walks last year for the Hotties, but not my own.  This year my goal is actually post some of my own walks, possibly here on the Coast or over in San Carlos by Road Runner Sports.  I was at a clinic there yesterday and spoke with a gentleman that would help me get it set up.  Kinda cool!!

3.  Volunteered at a Get Started Meeting -  A Get Started meeting is a meeting designed especially for newbies, but anyone can attend!  It simply discusses what the 3-Day is about, how to fundraise, train, etc.  Last year I volunteered at around 5-6 of them.  This was only my second one this year.  My first one was two or three days before the crap hit the fan.  It felt good to get back and share my passion for the 3-Day and this cause.

4.  Attend a "Right Shoes & Apparel Clinic" at Road Runner Sports in San Carlos.  - Now after all these years I certainly know what to wear, but I find it interesting that the types of shoes out there have certainly changed since I first started in 2003 when you basically had trail, motion control, stability & neutral.  Now there are barefoot running and minimalist shoes.  Nonetheless, I ended up getting Nike Zoom Vomero+ 6 shoes in grey & yellow!  Not what I expected, (have never used Nike before and have always gotten stability shoes but these are neutral!) but they were sure the most comfortable shoes I tried on.  I can't wait to start breaking them in!!!  Of course, now that the 24-week training schedule has started, it's been raining.  :(

On top of all of this, my other focus has been on fundraising.  It's a HUGE deal for me this year.  I have decided that I REALLY want to go for the $10,000 and earn a $10K fundraising legacy pin from the 3-Day!!!  You guys have certainly given me the best start of my breast cancer walk career!!  As of today, I have raised an incredible $3,048!!!!  Say what???  That's right!!!  I have less than $7,000 to go to reach my goal and a bit over five months to get there!!!  And I'm racking my brains to figure out other fundraising opportunities.  I have reached out to a friend for one idea.  I don't want to give anything away yet, but stay tuned!!!  I'm very excited!!!!  And, by the way, if YOU think of an awesome fundraising idea, shoot it my way so I can consider it!   

Alrighty, enough for this Sunday night.  It's been a busy weekend and I'm beat, but with a grateful heart. 

March 10, 2012
For over a year I have built up the year 2012 - 10 Years of Walking for a Cure!!  But like what often happens when you build something up so much, disappointments often follow.  The big disappointment was not the Planned Parenthood/Susan G. Komen ridiculousness (despite the outrage, the reality is Planned Parenthood was never going to fold because they might not have gotten a few hundred thousand dollars in grants for breast cancer screening, and care for uninsured/underserved women was never going to end), but the human/relationship collateral damage that has transpired. 

If you have supported me for a long time, you know I have been a part of what used to be the largest team on the SF 3-Day event, the Warming Hut Hotties.  We had the largest number of team members and raised the most money and received honors for our achievements.  Sadly, this presence will most likely not happen this year as many of my team-mates shared in the outrage and have pulled out of the 3-Day event.  Some have or will join the Avon Walk for Breast Cancer (where the Hotties have had a team every year) or, after our large team meeting on March 4th, a newly created event called the Immediate Impact Breast Cancer Walk (a 3-day, 55-mile walk that will benefit local organizations still to be determined).  You see, the Warming Hut Hotties are a project of a 501(c)(3) non-profit called In Our Lifetime (organized in 2008).  This new walk, created by In Our Lifetime, will take place just two weeks after the 3-Day.  Although the Hotties will continue to lead open training walks, they will be geared for the Immediate Impact walk, not other events.  We are basically a "united" but divided team, with the Avon and 3-Day teams taking less importance in the big picture.

I have had to deal with so many emotions over the last month, and none of it pleasant.  Although I thought I had come to terms with everything, I left our team meeting on March 4th feeling empty inside, deflated and abandoned.  The best analogy I can come up with is this: my parents have just gotten a divorce.  I have to pick sides now, and I have not chosen wisely.  The ink isn't even dry on the divorce papers and my mom is coming along tauting her new boyfriend.  Though the new boyfriend may be awesome, I am emotionally still very raw and not only NOT ready to accept him, but very much resent him.  I suppose if I didn't care about the team and the people, I wouldn't be feeling much of anything right now.  But I do, and I do.

What does this mean for me?  It means I will now be co-captain of the 3-Day Warming Hut Hottie team with another Hottie still dedicated to walking.  Right now, that's really all I know.  It means that though I may still train with the Hotties, it might not be as often.  It means that since I attended the 3-Day Training Walk Leader webinar, I will be able to post training walks on the 3-Day site myself so I may try and have some here on the Coast or even over on the Peninsula.  Honestly, I'm still trying to figure everything out for myself  in this new world I am now in.  I am, quite simply, going to keep all my options open, because in the end I have to do what's best for ME!    

In the future, I hope to get beyond any bitterness I may feel because I don't want any of you to think that I have forgotten what this is all about: A CURE!!  Believe me, I haven't.  I think part of what has frustrated me this past month is when I've heard talk about women's reproductive rights and such, is that people, despite what they may say, have forgotten the mission and are throwing their political beliefs onto the fire and melting everything together.  The 3-Day is not about reproductive rights, it's about breat cancer and finding a cure.  Period.  As I've said before, this is why I signed up for my first event in 2003, and I'm still walking ten years later. 

Though my passion and spark may be a little damaged right now, I am still fighting on.  I'm mapping out my training plan, which I hope to begin around the first part of April.  I sent my fundraising emails out two weeks ago, and my snail mail letters out a week ago.  I'm not going to lie.  With the outrage I've personally witnessed all around me, I had a lot of trepidation.  Would I get hate mail back?  Would anybody still support me?  I'm happy to say that whether or not I hit my ambitious $10,000 goal or not, I have received over a $1,000 in donations during this two-week period!!!!  UN-BE-LIEVABLE!!!!!  In fact, I have passed the $50,000 mark in total fundraising since 2003!!!!!  WOW!!!!!!!  And I've happily raised more than enough to satisfy the 3-Day fundraising minimum in order to walk. 

I think we can accomplish anything when we're working together!!  And know that your support helps to heal my soul, which is something I really need right now.